God hears, He looks, and He acknowledges

Exodus 2:24

“So God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God acknowledged them.”

I’ve just started going through Exodus and this verse really stuck out to me. Sometimes in my life I can feel like God doesn’t care about me, or He chooses not to hear me, but that’s not true at all. I can’t even imagine how the Israelites must have felt at that time, they were oppressed and enslaved; their life probably felt pretty hopeless. Were they asking, “Where is God when I need Him, has He left me all alone, does He even care?”
But what this verse tells us is that God “heard their groaning”, He “remembered His covenant”, and He “looked upon the children of Israel”, and finally He “acknowledged them.” How amazing and incomprehensible is that we have a God that is so close to us? He cares for us and listens to us, He knows every hair on our head. How then could I think that He can’t hear me?
Psalm 40:1 says, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.” In verse 5 it continues with, “Your thoughts towards us cannot be recounted to You in order; If I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.”

He hears our cries, His word declares this truth. But the question is, are we truly crying out to Him? Are we making Him our trust and hoping in Him alone, or are we looking to other things to satisfy us and give us hope? He promises to listen to us and hear us, but He can’t do that if we aren’t calling upon His name! These are things that the Lord must constantly remind me of. I need to be in prayer and constant communion with Him, not only when things get tough, but in every second of every day no matter how I may be feeling.

The Life of Joseph

Genesis 37

Lately I’ve been focusing my morning devotionals in Genesis and I’ve reached the story of Joseph. I didn’t think much of the story, just what I could remember from when I was younger hearing about it in Sunday School. But when I read it this second time, the Lord opened my eyes to see the truths he would have for me to learn from this man’s amazing story.
First was what everyone remembers from the story books, the fact that Joseph had a dream where his brothers bowed down to him. in verse 7 it’s described like this, “There we were, binding sheaves up the field. Then behold, my head arose and also stood up-right; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf.” His brothers were so angered that he would dream to reign over them that they threw Joseph into a pit and sold him to Ishmaelites who carried him to Egypt as a slave. I can only imagine what Joseph felt as this point, completely abandoned and alone, betrayed, hopeless, angry… the list goes on. But those things are never mentioned, instead it says in Chapter 39 vs 2 that “the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.” His master made him the overseer of his house and all that he had because he saw that the Lord was blessing Joseph and everything around him. But the master’s wife saw Joseph and desired him, so she continued to pressure him to sleep with her. Joseph could have consented and slept with her, after all, what did he owe to the master of the house? That’s the worldly view that most would take, but what did Joseph respond with? “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” (vs. 9) Joseph wasn’t concerned with what others thought, he was concerned with what God thought. He knew such a sin would have to answer to God.
Even after Joseph continued to do good, he was still persecuted for it. In fact, the master’s wife was so enraged by his refusal that she framed him and had him thrown into prison. What a life to have lived thus far; betrayed, sold as a slave, framed, thrown into prison. But Joseph didn’t let those things define his life. He looked to God to define him. and what did God do? (vs 21) “But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.”
It Chapter 40 two prisoners, the butler and the baker of Pharaoh, had dreams that Joseph interpreted for them. His only request was that they remember him when they got out of prison and mention his name to Pharaoh. When the butler was restored to his position, he completely forgot about Joseph. another thing to add to the list of things that COULD define Joseph… forgotten.
He would spend two full years in that prison until Pharaoh himself had a dream that needed an interpretation. The butler remembered all the things that Joseph did for him and told Pharaoh about a young hebrew man who could help him. So Pharaoh called for Joseph and asked him if he was able to interpret his dream, and Joseph’s response in Chapter 41 vs 16 was, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace.”
Joseph realised that he had nothing to offer. It was God’s work, not his. Many times I think I can forget that. That I literally have nothing to offer God expect to love Him with all of my heart, soul, and strength. That encompasses all that I am, everything that I present to the Lord that is done apart from Him is as filthy rags to Him. If the Israelites couldn’t win a battle without the Lord going before them, how can I expect anything more?
So Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dream and showed him that God was about to give the land of Egypt 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine. So what then did Pharaoh do with this information? He put Joseph in charge over all of Egypt to collect provisions for the famine! He took the signet ring off his hand and put it on Joseph’s hand and clothes him in fine linen. Joseph was second only to Pharaoh in the land of Egypt. In seconds, Joseph had everything taken away from him and in seconds he was given everything.
Joseph later married and had a firstborn son whom he named, “Manasseh,” which means, “to forget”. God is more powerful than anyone’s past. He takes care of us and shows Himself stronger and greater than our circumstances. He takes the sting of our past away and gives us new hope in Him. “Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh. For God has made me forget all my toil and all my father’s house.” (vs. 51)
His wife bore him another son whom he named, “Ephraim”, which literally means fruitfulness. “For God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.” (vs. 52)
When I am in the storm, He remains good to me. His mercy and love are never-ending. Joseph praised God through it all instead of getting overtaken by bitterness, and so should I. I must consider it pure joy that the creator of the heavens and the earth loves me so much to refine me and make me more like Him. “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” (James 1:2) No matter how hard it may seem, He is with me through it all. Joseph didn’t lose heart. He trusted that he would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart.” (Psalm 27:13-14)
Because of the famine, Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt in search of food. They came face to face with their brother but didn’t even recognise him! Joseph’s dream came to fulfilment as they all bowed before him and called themselves his servants. Later, Joseph would reveal himself to his family in Chapter 45 starting in verse 4, “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life….so now it was not you who sent me here, but God..”
I wonder how it felt for Joseph to understand that what He was put through was ordained by God to save his family. Did he ever once think while being carried away as a slave, “God has allowed this so that I may one day save them!” Doubt it. But what He did do was trust that God was working all things our for the good of those who love Him.
“I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” (Psalm 119:75)
Towards the very end of the book of Genesis, Joseph reassures his brothers once more by saying, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bing it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” (Gen. 50:19)
God was in control of all of Joseph’s circumstances, and so He is in control of mine. Why should I fear when something comes my way that I wasn’t prepared for, or perhaps something I didn’t want? My whole life is in His hands because it isn’t my life anymore. It was His the day I accepted what Jesus did for me on the cross. Yet even before that day He knew the plans He had for me.
God used the life of Joseph in a powerful way to save the lives of many. He took what was evil and turned it around for good. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to the who are the called according to His purpose.”

For thus says the High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.” (Isaiah 57:15) 

God is drawn to weakness, He will not despise those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3) It’s when I can admit my own faults and weakness that God delights to work in me and show His power, but only when I first put off my pride. My weakness is what makes room for His power to work in my life; where I can humbly put aside my own will and desire and give it to Him so His will can worth through me.

Being in a place like Guatemala, it’s easy to see all my weaknesses like not speaking the language as well as I’d like to and having no experience with kids. I get so frustrated with myself when I don’t measure up the way I imagined I would in my head and that gives room for the enemy to speak lies. What I have to realise is that I can’t please others and God at the same time. Am I allowing Him to work in my life the way He wants to or am I allowing other things to take that place over Him as an idol? An idol is anything you worship, and what you worship you serve. Am I serving my own self interest and what others think of me or am I serving God? I pray I never fail to see Him as great as He is, nor forget that His power is immeasurable. How can I expect Him to work when I’m not allowing Him to by my own disbelief?

 

Abide in The Vine

John 15:4 “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 

This is a verse that has been on my heart a lot lately during my field time here in Guatemala. Many times I find myself fearing the responsibility on my shoulders and looking at it with a attitude of discontentment and fear. Orchestrating three different kid’s clubs throughout the week with children who don’t even speak the same language as me can seem a bit intimidating, and in my mind it seems out of my reach. Not to mention school starting in January, which means the majority of my time will be spent in the classroom teaching kid’s all day long. Why has the Lord put in me in this position to do what seems impossible?

Before I continue with that thought, I first have to remind myself of just what exactly it means to abide in something. Basically, it means to follow, obey, stand by, or act in accordance with. But often when I hear that word I think of relying or being dependent on something . “Obey and rely on me. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it depends on the vine, neither can you, unless you depend on Me.” 

I have been given new life, I have the Lord of all creation on my side fully ready and willing to help me and guide me, but how often do I allow Him to? How often do I forget my absolute need for Him and continue about my life according to my own will and strength? Only until I hit a roadblock in my path do I realise that my own strength isn’t sufficient. I mean sure if I really wanted I could go about my life satisfying my wants and desires, in fact that’s what most people do, but where does that leave me? Empty. Broken. Dissatisfied. How would I know? Because I’ve been there already; I lived life completely dependent on myself and what I wanted and it left me so empty and broken that when I hit that roadblock I was ready to give up. I realised I was empty and had nothing to offer, but that’s when God let Himself be known in my life. He picked me up from the ashes and gave me new life because I allowed Him to. He’s not going to force His way in my life nor is He going to save me without me first coming to Him. His love for me was so great that He allowed me to go through that time just so I could realise how selfish I was. That’s just how God works, He gives us the free will to choose death or to choose life, and sadly so many of us choose the first. Why? Because it’s easier. Yes, it’s easier to go about my life doing as I please, but the end result is ultimately death. 

I realise that this new life I have is truly not even mine. It’s the Lord’s life that He has bought with the lofty price, one of His own blood. “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Wow, if that hasn’t stirred my heart I don’t know what could. It’s so sad to see how mundane the image of the cross has become to the world today. I remember during my training here a man named Keith Wheeler came to teach me class. You could definitely say he was bit different from a normal teacher, considering he carried around a huge cross on his back which he has carried almost all over the world to proclaim the message of just what exactly the cross meant. He took the verse in Matthew 16:24 very literally. “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desire to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desire to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.’”

He gave a message one Sunday at our church here in Antigua, where he explained with great passion just what exactly was the price that Jesus paid for us. I vividly remember a part where he took a massive metal nail and began to slowly hit it with a hammer with such force that the sound rang in my eardrum over and over. Keith explained as he continued to hit the nail that it was God’s love for our that allowed Jesus to be put through such pain; for His hands to be nailed through, and for His body to be marred beyond recognition. I couldn’t even tell that my eyes began to water. Next thing I knew tears were pouring from my eyes and I couldn’t help but to just weep at the sight of it. I wasn’t the only one either. Almost the entire church echoed with the sound of people just wailing and sobbing. How can I ever look at the cross and think nothing of it when I truly understand the price that was paid on it? The cross was an instrument of death, yet Jesus made it the means of our salvation: salvation from the sins that had overtaken us. 

That lofty price wasn’t paid just so I could go to church every Sunday and feel like a good christian, and yet do whatever I wanted the other 6 days of the week. Not that I’m implying church is a bad thing. It’s a wonderful gift and opportunity for the body of Christ to come together to worship, edify, and witness to others. But that shouldn’t be the only time we do these things. Church isn’t the dwelling place of the Lord. He doesn’t live within any one building but rather in us, so why do we act as if He doesn’t? I should desire only that my life be used to glorify His name on this earth and that others may know of this powerful message. But why am I still finding myself stressing out about things like teaching kid’s, as if it were some kind of burden? What God is allowing me to take part of is such an amazing gift. I get to show these kid’s the love of Christ and to see them grow into the next generation with it implanted in their hearts. I’m not worthy of such a thing! Looking back, it’s only the Lord who has brought me this far. He is the vine and I am the branch. If I go about these next 4 months assuming the role of the vine, I’m putting all the responsibility and government on my shoulders when it truly belongs to the Lord. It is not my fruit to bear, but His to produce in me. This is all His work. I am simply the branch who’s life comes from the vine itself. I must remember to surrender my rights and let go of my control to allow Him to assume His rightful place as the vine in my life. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (vs.5) Without Him I can do nothing, I can’t produce any fruit of my own- it’s His to bear. I’m not just talking about teaching kid’s and being apart of their lives. I’m talking about even the mundane stuff, like up keeping the property and cleaning… cleaning… and more cleaning. It’s easy to get a bad attitude when sometimes all I feel like I’m doing is cleaning all day long. It’s easy to get frustrated when kid’s aren’t listening, or when things aren’t going my way. But I can rest and trust that the Lord is working even when my eyes can’t see it.”By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.” (vs. 8) It’s not just on the mountaintop that God is glorified and much fruit produced in the lives of Christians. A lot of times its in the valley, where life is at it’s most dull and difficult that He is glorified through our constant faith and obedience. 

To Be Obedient To His Call

Romans 5:19 

“For as through the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the one shall the many be made righteous.”

I’ve realised by now that many of my blogs have revolved around the theme of obedience, including this one. But this is just the subject that the Lord has really placed on my heart to write about, mostly for myself but also for others who maybe need to hear this same message. It’s so easy to talk about being obedient to Him and what He wants for my life, but it’s also another thing to live it. As I sit here writing this, I think about all the things I’m probably missing back at home. My friends, my family, the experience of being a normal teenager again…. I miss the days where I could just go to school and go about my daily life, it seemed so simple back then. But here I sit, in the middle of Guatemala where I have been for the last almost 5 months of my life. I never would have imagined myself here, but that’s just it. I wouldn’t have picked this for myself, but it’s what God ordained in His perfect will. Yes I made the decision to come to Ignite, but it was out of my hands where I went for my field time. Through the circumstances in my life that He is complete control of, whether what class I was in or how I graduated high school a year early, or how I found out about this program simply from a friend’s sister… it all points back to Him. Only He could have made this all possible. 

There’s always going to be disappointment in life, but that doesn’t have to govern my emotions or outlook. The only thing that matters is that I allow myself to be moldable in the the hands of the Potter. But what does it even mean to be moldable? I like to think of it as being completely submitted to the will of the hands that are shaping me; not fighting back or longing for a better set of circumstances which I so often find myself doing. Each time I have to check my heart and see the areas where I am not allowing the Lord to take control of, like perhaps my future or where He has brought me to. I have to constantly bring to remembrance that He has been faithful in my past and will continue to do so in my future. I’m being molded into a vessel that God can use, and it’s not an easy process. It hurts, and I’m being stretched beyond what I thought possible and yet He comes alongside me with comfort and peace beyond comprehension. 

I have to remember:  because of Jesus’s obedience we are made righteous. I can’t even imagine about what God can do through my obedience. 

Test of Faith

Genesis 22 

God tested Abraham’s faith in Him by commanding that he take his one and only son, whom the Lord promised him, and offer him as a burnt offering on a mountain. I imagine if I were Abraham I would be completely confused and angered by this command. God had just promised him a son and to bless him with many generations, and now he’s asking that he give Isaac up? That doesn’t make any sense! But that’s the thing about faith. It doesn’t make any sense to the world, but to the eyes who have faith it’s obedience. And that’s what Abraham did, he was obedient. It says in verse 3 that he rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey. If you remember in verse 2 the command that God gave Abraham was that he would “take NOW your son”.

He did was asked of him without hesitation and did as the Lord commanded early in the morning. I’d like to think that maybe Abraham was questioning why the Lord would have him do such a thing, but it doesn’t say that here n Genesis, all it says is that he obeyed.

I think it’s easy for us as humans to receive that command or call and just ignore it, or to not obey immediately, but that’s not what the Lord asks of us. His timing is perfect and his words are true. Sure I may not understand what He is orchestrating in my life or why He has called me to a certain place but I can sit and rest with comfort knowing that he is working all things out for my good. It may not feel good and it may not feel right, but it’s “working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory”.         (2 Corinthians 4:17)

So Abraham took his son up to the mountain, the place of his trial, and bound Isaac up and laid him on the alter, ready to sacrifice His one and only son, whom he loves dearly. But right as he stretched out his hand with the knife to slay his son, the angel of the lord stopped him. And in vs 12 he says, “do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” 

What a test of faith. Abraham was willing to do it, because he was obedient unto the Lord no matter if he understood the reason why or not. And here we find out that the Lord was using that situation he brought upon Abraham to test his faith. God knew it all along, before the foundations of the world he knew, but did Abraham? While reading this passage I couldn’t help but be reminded of God’s sacrifice for us, giving his only son to be sacrificed as a lamb for the sins of the world. Abraham did not withhold his son, his only son, from God, and neither did God withhold his only son for us. God’s plan and his timing is perfect. He knew that Jesus would be this sacrifice before the foundations of the earth as it says in the very last book in the Bible. Revelation 13:8 

And yet here we see in the first book of the Bible, way before any of the events of the New Testament, God using this same concept to test the faith of Abraham. He is not a cruel God. He’s loving and He’s just. He loves us so much that he actually did give his only son, what he held dearest. I think that God takes us through these trials of life to where we can get to a point where we can say, “I have not withheld anything from you.” Where we can be completely submitted to His will and fully His. Abraham submitted to God’s way of bringing Him to that point no matter the road of getting there, or even the mountain so to speak.

Vs. 16 “by myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because yo have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, your only son-blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall posses the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” 

Abraham received that promise from God long before in Genesis 12, but he had to wait and be patient for God’s perfect timing. His promises are never failing. Abraham first had to be obedient and trust in God for these promises to hold value and for Abraham to receive them. Remember the last part of this passage? “Because you have obeyed my voice.” All the blessings before this phrase were dependent on this, whether or not Abraham would be obedient. 

Following God and trusting in His voice is not an easy thing, I’ve experienced this personally these past 4 and a half months. There’s a cost of discipleship and sometimes that cost can be everything. But to put my trust in God alone and to follow Him no matter the road He takes me through is so worth it. It’s such a beautiful thing to see where He can take me when I submit myself completely to His will. It’s not about me anymore but rather sharing God’s love and his heart towards His people: and I get to take part in that! Sure it’s not the way I wanted but it’s what God wanted in my life to break my self-centered will and make me completely His. He’s changing me little by little, taking out my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh, a heart that breaks for what breaks His. Ezekiel 11:19-20 “then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the soft heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep my judgements and do them; and they shall be My people and I will be their God.” 

Test of Faith

Genesis 22 

God tested Abraham’s faith in Him by commanding that he take his one and only son, whom the Lord promised him, and offer him as a burnt offering on a mountain. I imagine if I were Abraham I would be completely confused and angered by this command. God had just promised him a son and to bless him with many generations, and now he’s asking that he give Isaac up? That doesn’t make any sense! But that’s the thing about faith. It doesn’t make any sense to the world, but to the eyes who have faith it’s obedience. And that’s what Abraham did, he was obedient. It says in verse 3 that he rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey. If you remember in verse 2 the command that God gave Abraham was that he would “take NOW your son”.

He did was asked of him without hesitation and did as the Lord commanded early in the morning. I’d like to think that maybe Abraham was questioning why the Lord would have him do such a thing, but it doesn’t say that here n Genesis, all it says is that he obeyed.

I think it’s easy for us as humans to receive that command or call and just ignore it, or to not obey immediately, but that’s not what the Lord asks of us. His timing is perfect and his words are true. Sure I may not understand what He is orchestrating in my life or why He has called me to a certain place but I can sit and rest with comfort knowing that he is working all things out for my good. It may not feel good and it may not feel right, but it’s “working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory”.         (2 Corinthians 4:17)

So Abraham took his son up to the mountain, the place of his trial, and bound Isaac up and laid him on the alter, ready to sacrifice His one and only son, whom he loves dearly. But right as he stretched out his hand with the knife to slay his son, the angel of the lord stopped him. And in vs 12 he says, “do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” 

What a test of faith. Abraham was willing to do it, because he was obedient unto the Lord no matter if he understood the reason why or not. And here we find out that the Lord was using that situation he brought upon Abraham to test his faith. God knew it all along, before the foundations of the world he knew, but did Abraham? While reading this passage I couldn’t help but be reminded of God’s sacrifice for us, giving his only son to be sacrificed as a lamb for the sins of the world. Abraham did not withhold his son, his only son, from God, and neither did God withhold his only son for us. God’s plan and his timing is perfect. He knew that Jesus would be this sacrifice before the foundations of the earth as it says in the very last book in the Bible. Revelation 13:8 

And yet here we see in the first book of the Bible, way before any of the events of the New Testament, God using this same concept to test the faith of Abraham. He is not a cruel God. He’s loving and He’s just. He loves us so much that he actually did give his only son, what he held dearest. I think that God takes us through these trials of life to where we can get to a point where we can say, “I have not withheld anything from you.” Where we can be completely submitted to His will and fully His. Abraham submitted to God’s way of bringing Him to that point no matter the road of getting there, or even the mountain so to speak.

Vs. 16 “by myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because yo have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, your only son-blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall posses the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” 

Abraham received that promise from God long before in Genesis 12, but he had to wait and be patient for God’s perfect timing. His promises are never failing. Abraham first had to be obedient and trust in God for these promises to hold value and for Abraham to receive them. Remember the last part of this passage? “Because you have obeyed my voice.” All the blessings before this phrase were dependent on this, whether or not Abraham would be obedient. 

Following God and trusting in His voice is not an easy thing, I’ve experienced this personally these past 4 and a half months. There’s a cost of discipleship and sometimes that cost can be everything. But to put my trust in God alone and to follow Him no matter the road He takes me through is so worth it. It’s such a beautiful thing to see where He can take me when I submit myself completely to His will. It’s not about me anymore but rather sharing God’s love and his heart towards His people: and I get to take part in that! Sure it’s not the way I wanted but it’s what God wanted in my life to break my self-centered will and make me completely His. He’s changing me little by little, taking out my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh, a heart that breaks for what breaks His. Ezekiel 11:19-20 “then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the soft heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep my judgements and do them; and they shall be My people and I will be their God.” 

We Would See Jesus

The purpose of my life: not joy or peace, but God Himself, that’s what this book has really opened my eyes to. It really gave me a fresh perspective on seeing Jesus and not making a formula out of it, but rather simply seeking Him in the purest form and understanding that He is a blessing and not a means to gain something. He is far greater than I deserve and yet He still accepts me, desires to use me, and delights in me. It’s important I realize that nothing I do will ever make me more acceptable to God. Serving Him and allowing Him to set me free from the bondage and sin of my past leads me to a life of abundance, more so than I could ever attempt to attain in my own strength, it is solely through Him that I can serve in the freshness and freedom of His Spirit.

One main point that I saw in this book is the fact that by grace we have been saved through faith, but what is grace? It’s an underserved love and favor of God. It isn’t a blessing or an influence from God which we receive, but rather an attribute of God which governs His attitude towards man. Grace is what permits us to come as empty sinners and be redeemed. I have to remember that what I receive from God isn’t dependent on what I am or what I do. What I receive is measured only by the face of God, and that is abundance. His love has no limit and His grace has no measure.

The book talks about how if we don’t first seek Him and want Him, He often may allow sorrow, suffering, trials, and failure so that in our need we will find our need for Him. As soon as I read that It really clicked in my mind just how true that is. “Such suffering, however, is never punitive, but wholly and only restorative in its intention. It is love humbling us and drawing us to the place of repentance and to God.” (pg.21) I recall a time in my life of great suffering, when I had lost all hope. In my complete desperation I finally discovered just how much I needed Him. I’ve seen so much in these recent years just how much the Lord has drawn me closer to Him through allowing me to struggle so I can seek first His face and His council. It’s hard thing to really understand at first, but Whom the Lord loves He corrects. It’s His love that allows suffering in order to restore my relationship with Him.

One of my favorite quotes from Roy and Revel Hession in this book was, “He sees a sharp point in our makeup that is continually wounding others. He sees within our hearts the motives of self seeking and pride. He, therefore, allows someone to come and work alongside us who will rub against that sharp point and round it off…. But if we will bow to what God has allowed, and repent of our sinful reactions, we will find that that very situation has led us into a deeper experience of His grace and of His power to satisfy our hearts with Himself alone.” (pg.24) This was so convicting to me. I am truly just the clay in the potter’s hand. Who am I, as clay, to tell the potter how to shape me or how to make me into the finished piece he intended for me to be. He’s of course going to stretch and mold me, and its going to hurt… a lot. But that is just how He chooses to break self seeking will and replace it with Him. I love how much this quote applies exactly to my life. The phrase, “rubs you the wrong way” could never be more true, but what most fail to realize is that it’s actually smoothing our sharp edges. It’s the Potter shaping us, and He allows people in my life to help get the job done, and then I find myself coming to the realization that the problem was first and foremost in me, rather than that other person. Instead of trying to run away from a situation that causes me suffering, I can press on with full confidence that I am in the Potter’s Hands, exactly where He wants me. Whatever situation I am in, He is in complete control of, and it’s for the building of my character and foremost, my relationship with Him.

I can’t make my service for Him an end in itself. It’s not my ultimate goal, how well my service is, or how much of it I do. If that is the case, then any time something goes wrong my reaction will be to break away and seek my own self first and foremost. I’ve got a track record in the past of running away when things get tough, but I truly believe this is something that the Lord is really working with me on; not to give up. To press on, leaning on His strength completely. Someone once told me in training that during field time your going to have all these expectations on what God is going to be working on in you, but you’ll soon learn that He has completely different plans for you. Sometimes He needs to fix problems in my life that I didn’t even know I was aware of. Just as the quote has said, I truly have found that the very situation I am in has led me into a deeper experience of His grace and power working in my life. I’ve come to a point where I’m learning to satisfy my heart with Him alone, not anything else which so often in my life I had found myself doing. “Mere earthly things, even service, will never satisfy our hearts, Only God Himself can fill thank blank [in our hearts] which is made in His shape.” (pg. 26) I also love how in the chapter of “Sinai or Calvary” it talks again about the vision of grace given to Jeremiah when He went to the Potter’s House. This has been such a big theme in my walk with the Lord and I love the way this book describes it. “He makes the mess the raw material for a fresh purpose of love.” (pg. 92)

When the Potter saw the marred vessel he could have just disregarded it, but that’s not the way the Lord works. Instead he “made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the Potter to make it.” This is what God loves to do with us as marred vessels when we truly humble ourselves as such, broken. He brings order out of our chaos and new purpose to my life. The new purpose he is working out in my life will surely be marked with discipline and trial, but His grace assures me that it is going to be for my infinite good, and so I rest.

 

 

Deer’s feet

Habakkuk 3:19

“The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.”

Feet like a deer: able to climb steep mountains and and stay steady even when the path is slippery. God gives me the strength to get through the steep and slippery places in life- when I am faced with trials and affliction or when life just gets hard. He is my strength that enables me to stand strong and bold when things get rough. Those deer feet aren’t the product of my own strength, they come from His Spirit inside me and my faith in Him.

The troubling thing is, I am not give those deer feet automatically. I often times find myself feeling what it’s like to slip and almost fall, especially when I start up the mountain by myself. But I can look at those times of stumbling as a gift from God. He’s showing me that I can’t make it without Him. When I do start to fall, its a reminder that those deer feet aren’t from my own strength. Whatever the mountain or high hill may look like to me, I will not be moved. I have to trust that He can and will give me deer’s feet to get through it and walk faithfully.

Zechariah 4:6 ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the Lord of hosts.

It’s so funny how whenever I find myself operating in my own strength, the Lord always brings me to a place of humbleness and brokenness where I realise how foolish I was. This week has definitely been a hard one for me. I’ve been incredibly stressed with trying to finish all my assignments and planning for curriculums. My mind is so occupied with getting the work done that I’ve neglected by devotional time. The Lord really broke me down of my own strength last night when my computer freaked out and deleted all of my word documents, including the ones I had been trying to get done by a certain date. My camera that I have been using to collect media also shattered, and my wifi time to talk with family has also been cut down. I know that God is in control of all my circumstances, including a broken camera or some lost documents. It’s His way of revealing to me that I’ve been too focused on the work rather than Him. That’s what this is all about anyway, but no matter the circumstances I can’t be moved. I won’t let these roadblocks get in the way of what is before me. The Lord is my strength, He will give me feet like a deer to climb on the high hills.

 

Deuteronomy Study Chapter 1

Every Thursday the girls here at Potter’s Field Antigua have decided to have a morning bible study going through the book of Deuteronomy. I honestly had no idea how much this book would speak to me already, I assumed that since it was in the old testament it would just be a bunch of old stories that didn’t relate to my life at all. But what I’ve come to understand is that I’ve never related more to the people in these verses. While the New Testament is more topical and easier to glean from, the Old Testament is enriched in truth, it’s just a bit harder to dig for. That’s also what makes it so special to my heart: I know when I get something from this book just how powerful it is because the Lord used those past experiences of the Israelites to speak into my life.

The first verse thing that really spoke to me was verse 6 where the Lord is speaking to the Israelites on the journey to the promised land and said, “You have dwelt long enough at this mountain. Turn and take your journey,” For me personally, it’s as if the words jumped off the page and the Lord was using it to confirm in my life the time He has appointed me to be here in Guatemala. Almost as if He were saying, “Autumn, you have been comfortable on this mountain long enough. I’m taking you to the unknown, to a place where I will grow you and make your name completely Mine. Here you will need to rely completely on Me.”

It made me think of a quote by Oswald Chambers in my devotional book that says, “After every time of exaltation, we are brought down with a sudden rush into things as they really are, where it is neither beautiful, poetic, nor thrilling. The height of the mountaintop is measured by the dismal drudgery of the valley, but its in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God. We see His glory on the mountain, but we never live for His glory there. It’s the place of humiliation that we find our true worth to God-that is where our faithfulness is revealed.”

But here’s the thing: just like the Israelites were discouraged and complained about the way the Lord was bringing them to this promised land, so have I. in verse 21 it says, “look, the Lord your God has set the land before you; go up and posses it, as the Lord God of your fathers has spoken to you; do not fear or be discouraged.” But I have done exactly that, and so did the Israelites. (vs.26-27) “Nevertheless you would not go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord your God; and you complained in your tents, and said, ‘Because the Lord hates us, He has brought us out of the land of Egypt to deliver us into the and of the Amorites, to destroy us.”

Canaan was the land the Lord promised to Israel, but they were afraid and felt as if there were so many things against them, like there was too much to handle. They didn’t trust the gift the Lord put before them, and that’s me a lot of the time. God has set the land of Guatemala and my team before me, a perfect gift from Him, and yet I still grumble and complain. I get so discouraged and afraid just as the Israelites did.

(vs.29) “Do not be terrified or afraid of them. The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your god carried you, as a man carries his son….yet for all that, you did not believe the Lord your God.”

Just like the people of Israel, I sometimes find myself thinking it would be easier to return to my “Egypt”, where I was comfortable in my chains, but that’s exactly where Satan likes to see me. However, God told them not to be afraid because He has gone before them and will fight for them. This same promise remains true in my life and for all of God’s children. He promises to be there with us, to fight for us, and to go before us. If there’s one thing I can declare with absolute certainty its that His promises never fail. They may not be answered in the way or the timing I wanted, but His ways are better. I love how in this verse He also assures them with His past faithfulness, how He took them out of Egypt and how He carried them like a man carries His son. Why should I be weary of what’s ahead of me when I know the Lord my God has gone before me and I have seen Him working in my life before; how he delivered me from bondage and the times when He carried me. Whenever I find myself in doubt, I need to simply look back on His past goodness and faithfulness in my life and I will once again realise that He never fails us. Yet though all that the people still did not put their trust in Him, and God punished them for it: He didn’t allow them to enter the Holy Land, the goodness and blessings that He had prepared for them. The Lord wants to give His children good things and many times those things may not seem like blessings to us at first, but truly they are the best things for us. God won’t force His will upon us, its our decision whether we want to allow Him to work in our life or not….